About two and a half years ago I joined a world wide community of female singers operating in the rock/metal music business. There I found some of my very best friends and made bonds that will last for a lifetime. We call our little group Eve’s Apple. You who have followed me for years know these amazing women I’m speaking of. My apple sisters <3
Today I miss some of them a little more, and since we are scattered around the globe I think we’ll have to schedule a “skype & wine” session soon!
And since it’s #tbt I thought I’d share my debutante essay with you so you’ll get an idea of what we do and what Eve’s Apple is all about. Enjoy!
ANGELICA RYLIN/ THE MURDER OF MY SWEET: Debutante essay
Often when giving interviews I get the question “How does it feel to be a woman in this male dominated industry and how have you been accepted?” I always felt like “It’s great! I get to be surrounded by great guys and play the music I love but I don’t have to wear sleazy t-shirts with printing, sunglasses on photo shoots and messy/unwashed hair. I have always felt truly welcomed and accepted and the most important ting, I’ve never had to fake being Me.” However, being a woman among other women in this industry I often get the feeling of competition, like we were to compete for the spot of getting noticed among all the men. Other women smile at you in the backstage area but behind that beautiful red smile is an insecure woman desperately clinging to the opportunity of getting heard and seen. Well, that is what I have experienced anyway.
BUT, since being included in this community of sweet, sweet apples who really love and care and support one another I’m completely blown away, in a good way. Here we are sisters, not competitors. Here we share the joy of making music. Here we listen to each others thoughts and battle the problems as a unit of strong and independent women. It is like the twin sisters you never had. When you reach a certain point of success you sadly and suddenly realize that your old friends are starting to distance them self from you. At first I thought that it was because of jealousy, and perhaps at some point it is, but I have come to the conclusion that it has more to do with them not being able to understand what’s really expected of you and why you’re not able to hang out as much as before and why your sole purpose and focus is entirely on music and every other part that comes with it like promotion and social networking. Being among apples you don’t have to try and explain that because they all already know.
When we released our debut album in 2010 we spent the summer touring and promoting. There were allot of buzz about this new female fronted band and I as a lead singer gave probably more that one hundred interviews in a period of say two and a half months. When fall came and it was time to start working on the new songs I felt totally drained. It was as if I had used up all of the words in my vocabulary and I had no freaking idea on how to get started again. I faced the total terror of writers block and seriously started doubting my self and my capability in being a songwriter. What was I to do now? The deadline was approaching in what to me seemed like in the speed of light. At that time I wasn’t a part of Eve’s Apple and so I had to figure it out for my self.
This is when I started my soul searching for real. I took time to listen to my heart and started to figure out what I wanted to do and how. I went to the movies, I read allot of books, I actually even moved out of my old apartment and eventually it all became so clear to me. I had to reboot and start over fresh. I had to say goodbye to the little girl I once was and who had inspired me to write the past songs. I had to look at the world through new eyes and for the first time I felt the block was slowly vanishing. “Bye bye lullaby” was finally born.
I got back in the studio with my new found eagerness and decided to use my recent experience as a source of inspiration for the new lyrics. I came up with a song called “Unbreakable”, witch later became our first single, where I wanted to reach out to everyone out there doubting them self or even worse being told that they’re not god enough. The purpose of the song is to tell those people that they are not weak, encourage them to listen to their heart and find their own path regardless of what. Believing in your self is the greatest medicine of all and it’s there just within your reach.
I grew so much in this process and came out stronger and more self confident than ever. I have a clear view of my goal and know what I have to do to reach it. But this time I also know that should this apple fall from its branch again I’ll have the divine assistance of my sisters in this beautiful apple orchard to pull myself together and climb right up again. Should one of my sisters fall I know I’ll have the strength to help her because I’ve been there and I know how she feels.
I want to finish by showing you the video for “Unbreakable” and hopefully leave you with a feeling of being unstoppable and invincible.